No alarm clock can compare to the sound of my three and seven-year-old jumping out of bed in the morning. Those tiny little feet pounding the hardwood floor is their trademark superhero landing after conquering another successful night’s sleep. And if that doesn’t do the trick, my rightfully demanding 7-month-old will be sure to spring me into action by using a scream taken straight out of a Jurassic Park Movie.
Motherhood is, without a doubt, terrifying. It is like pulling on a door while a sign with flashing lights is screaming at me to push. It is met with frustration, anxiety, sleep deprivation, and the endless reminders to my kids to put their Legos back into their rightful place. Most of all, I am continually confronting myself with the question, “Am I doing this, right?”.
Every day I remind myself, “there is beauty in chaos,” and children are chaotically curious with imaginations that have no bounds. I know that one day the chaos will fade. The trail of Legos will shockingly vanish, and the walls of my home will shine as if tiny little fingers never marked their territory. And that is the part of motherhood I am dreading.
For now, I will bask in the chaos and enjoy my little ones while they are still small. Motherhood is terrifying, but the unconditional love that comes with it triumphs all. Mothers are not biological vessels with the sole purpose of raising flawlessly obedient little humans, and children don’t stay children forever. Motherhood is a complex, spiritual, and emotional journey. In it, I’ve discovered a strength I never knew existed, all thanks to my wonderful little boys. In the future I’m sure the question will remain, “Am I doing this, right?”